Dumb Ass Customer: Gimme a Pepsi.

Me: I’m sorry, we don’t have Pepsi. Would Coke be alright?

DAS: Okay, whatever. *takes a sip* This Pepsi tastes awful! It tastes like Coke! I hate Coke! You gave me Coke and I asked for Pepsi!

Me: My apologies, I thought you told me that Coke would be fine.

DAS: Well, it would have been alright if you poured it properly!

Me: Beg your pardon?

DAS: Nevermind. I want the surf and turf, well-done with fries. And I want mayo on the side!

Me: We don’t have mayo.

DAS: Sweet Jesus! Can’t you do anything right?! Gimme a baked potato instead. Can you handle that?

Me: Sure thing. Butter and sour cream?

DAS: I want it fully loaded. Butter, sour cream, cheese, chives and bacon!

Me: We only have butter and sour cream.

DAS:  Sweet Jesus! Gimme fries ! And I want mayo on the side!

Me: *rolls eyes*